It's amazing how much hate I can have towards a person I don't even know. It truly amazes me. I mean, I don't usually hate anyone or anything. It's a strong word I don't normally throw around with serious meaning, but there's one person right now that I'm really hating on. Like wishing they were dead kind of hate. I know that's bad, but at the same time I have the sick notion of believing it to be understandable and justified. I'm shocked by myself. I really didn't think I could have so much hate towards someone. This is a very weird experience for me...I think typing it all out is helping to a degree...maybe...What I should do though is just get over it. Move on. Forgive and forget. But it's just so hard for me. I guess I'm just so stubborn and bitter and emotional that I'm getting in my own way of not hating and letting it go. I mean there are worst things in life. Right? I dunno. Ugh. Just put on a happy face has been my motto for awhile now. I thought that maybe if I just acted happy I would be happy, but that's not working. Well, maybe it's working temporarily, but then I get reminded and that brings me down again. I kind of hate blogs, computers, and technology in general. Even though I use it on a daily basis, technology has just brought crappiness to my life. And it's ironic that I would then try to use it, meaning this blog, to help me get out my thoughts and try to untangle them. Haha I'm so funny. Well, enough of that.
Christmas Eve aka my mom's birthday, we all went up to the big D and that was good times. All the xmas decor at Dland always makes me warm and fuzzy inside. Then, Christmas Day my mommy made yummy dutch oven pancake and canadian bacon egg cups. It was delicious! Then we opened presents and watched the Disney parade on tv, as usual. I got a bunch of goodies like dvds, cds, and vintage hairstyling books. Then we went over to the La Jolla house and had dinner and more present unwrapping. After the family overload, Megan and I went to Charlie's to watch the end of the Charger game and play boardgames with some the Starbucks/Food Ave peeps. And of course yesterday was Megan's 18th bday. She tried going to Dland with the bf, but it was sold out:( but today she had a party, like I did, at Dave and Buster's with all her friends. So, I guess it's already New Year's Eve. Probably go shopping with Megan and then I'm not sure of my evening plans, but we'll see...
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